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If there is a correct way to do personal development, I’m definitely not doing it. I haven’t done any real structured exercise in three weeks. Not a single stretch, no strength circuit. I also haven’t journalled, meal prepped, or done anything you’d find on a morning routine Pinterest board. 

Instead, I’ve been coaching brilliant humans, planting veggies, bingeing Stranger Things with my kid, writing a psychotherapy assignment that slightly fried my brain, and stacking a LOT of wood.

There’s this idea floating around out there that we should be able to do everything — exercise regularly, stay calm and present, keep the house tidy, make nourishing meals, reply to messages, grow as a person, and never miss a beat.

Perfectly. Consistently. Forever.

Apparently, I’m also meant to be:

– Waking up at 5am

– Starting the day with intentional movement

– Sticking to a screen-free evening routine

– Saying daily affirmations into the mirror

– Never doom-scrolling

– And visualising my ideal future self before breakfast

But instead, I do scroll a bit too much at times. And I start my day with a strong coffee and a small negotiation with reality — usually involving trying to get my son out the door for school without losing my mind. Not exactly a curated morning ritual, right? Oh, and sometimes I only realise I’m tipping into stress when I find myself googling “off-grid cabins in Sweden”.

The other day, a client said: “I just need to be more disciplined. I never stick at anything. I’m always letting myself down.”

I asked her what she was trying to stick to. She listed about twelve things: daily exercise, strict bedtime, no scrolling, meal planning, saving money, meditating, stretching, gratitude journaling, finishing her novel, starting a side business, and never forgetting a birthday ever again.

We both laughed. Because honestly? Who can stick to all that?

Yes, sometimes we need to look at what’s getting in our way. And yes, some habits really do help. But often, the problem isn’t you — it’s the wildly unrealistic expectations we’ve absorbed from every “10 habits of successful people” post ever written.

Inconsistency doesn’t mean you’re failing. It means you’re human.

I’ll pick up more structured exercise again at some point. I’ll notice when the things I’m doing tip into territory that’s not good for me. But I also accept that I can’t do everything perfectly all the time — no one can. You just need to let things be a bit messy and trust your pace as you find your way.

By Liz Goodchild (LIFE COACHING FOR PEOPLE WHO GIVE A SHIT) More Information!